ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 11 – SCRAMBLING YOUR PAIN

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

 ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 11 – SCRAMBLING YOUR PAIN

 Too many times it becomes tough to unmask a spouse who is in pains because their physical manifestation either looks like a virtue that looks commendable while the person is actually dying inside. Sometimes pains may manifest in the following ways;

• Getting involved in so many activities that makes the person really appear zealous and dependable
• Giving oneself fully to a task that you never rest or relax. This may appear as being a workaholic but could be masking inner pain that is yet to be confronted
• Seeking to correct everyone at all times once their wrong is spotted such that you look like the one who can make everything right
• Inability to stand those who are too playful and consistently calling them to get very serious. Sometimes while on the surface this looks like you are trying to get people focused truth is that their play often reminds you of what life stole from you or what you haven’t figured out how to do.
• Passing judgement or taking a position about others without giving a benefit of doubt and not giving them a chance to state their side of the story or even seeking to understand them.
• Living in the realm of 2-dimensional world of black or white; right and wrong without seeking to spot the shades that exist that doesn’t conform or align known realities
• Penchant for seeking to take responsibility for everyone which manifests as excessive care but unconsciously choking the other person while thinking you truly care about them.
• Inability and unwillingness to ask for help yet giving everything others needs – Saviour syndrome.

 While what is mostly talked about when it comes to pain are the bad addictive behaviors like drugs, illicit sex and all. The ones stated above are even more lethal because they are signals that something is not totally right because a whole person must allow others to fully express themselves while seeking to understand their model out of curiosity as against through judgement.

 Without handling your pains you may become a ‘terror’ to everyone else while you are convincing yourself that you don’t take nonsense. Unfortunately, you are gradually losing those you think you truly care about.

 Today may be a good time to reach out for help and confront the demons within so that the suppressed ‘child’ within can be truly free to live and play again.

I am a SAVIOUR

To be continued