How to recover your celebrity marriage

I am amazed at the quest of many couples to copy and outdo Hollywood when it comes to the red carpet lifestyle as well as marriage. We copy both the good, the bad and the ugly such that we live in deception, thinking marital break-up is also one of the ways to cement our status as a celebrity.

Many people are too proud to humble themselves to get help with their marriages so they struggle till it is too late. I have seen people make same mistakes over and over again heaping the blame on their spouses, while thinking a change of spouse would solve the problem only to re-marry and realize they have moved from frying pan to fire.

That both of you are award winning artistes or celebrated professionals is worth celebrating but you must understand that marriage is a different ball game entirely because it requires dropping your celebrity toga and wearing the sleeves of humility and service to make a success of it.

So what do I do if I have found myself in the galacticos formation?

💍     Rediscover purpose – discover the right reasons for getting married. Even if you married for the wrong reasons you can both resolve to rediscover a higher purpose and start working things out.

💍     Get counseling – be humble enough to get help and learn because you may never be able to sustain any marriage without humility.

💍     Drop the star toga and get down to work – Your home isn’t your father’s house where you have servants who serve you. You are now married so grow up daddy’s boy or girl, roll up your sleeves and start working out your relationship. You may even start this by joining your domestic servants to do their chores. I know they earn their salaries by getting the job done but joining them helps you build a proper relationship which will have a positive effect on the way you relate with your spouse.

💍     Understand your spouse – Understanding your spouse’s personality type, love languages and major differences sets you free in effectively relating with them.

There are other things you need to do which I will share tomorrow however you must understand that there is the star and there is the person. The star is what the society has made you, based on your exceptional performance on stage and you can’t get carried away with their applause because they are the same crowd that would run you down if you fail in your marriage.

 Resolve to make a success out of your marriage by reconnecting with your real self. Be true to yourself for once and quit living your life based on societal expectations. Your spouse is not the society so learn to adjust to him/her and work your marriage out.

The exit button is one button celebrities are too quick to apply whenever there is a marital challenge. Although they try to explain away their decisions to separate by citing irreconcilable difference as the reason for their marital break-up, it is just another way of saying ‘We are both ignorant and don’t have what it takes to run a home’.

How many times have you seen celebs with a book on marital success or even attend a seminar on marital success? It is sad that people spend so much time in rehearsals and work vigorously to release a hit track or movie or become professors but hardly prepare for marriage.

We sacrifice marital preparation which is a life time journey for a day’s event and plung into the marital pool unprepared as marital illiterates, only to start learning to swim when we are already drowning and even at that, we never go to the right place for help because we think a devil is responsible so we try to pray ourselves out of a character problem.

Truth is you can’t pray yourself out of a situation you behaved yourself into. So what else can this couple do?

💍Get counseling: be humble enough to get help and learn because you may never be able to sustain any marriage without humility.

💍Get a vision for yourself: Discover the type of home both of you want to build and commit to learning what it takes to build such a home by getting materials or getting a marital coach/counselor

💍Learn communication: Learn to communicate well with every human being you see including your domestic servants. You can follow the 5 Ps of effective communication. Pause, Prepare, Present, Postpone and Persist.

Remember that the devil that is against your marriage is the person you see each time you face the mirror and by changing the person you see, your marriage changes.

Sometimes life happens and boredom hits a passionate relationship such that you start to second guess yourself in a love relationship. At such times you start to look for solutions anywhere it can be found because bliss is a desperate need.

However, there is something you need to do as it is not going to happen on a platter of gold. For some of us, we only need to do what we have not done before to get what we have not gotten. Wisdom hasn’t failed anyone and that is the key to getting the best out of your relationship this month.

We have been looking at what the galacticos needs to build a blissful marriage. I must however quickly add that most of the people in this type of marital formation are people who have never come to terms with the reality about themselves. There is nothing as foolish as lying to oneself when you don’t even have anything called yourself.

The real you isn’t found in your father’s wealth or your designers bags and shoes so quit thinking of yourself in terms of brands and prices. So what else must you do?

-         Discover and Develop yourself: You have lived too long on the false lane it is time to get out of that rat race and live your best life(of service to humanity) now. You need to quit the stage and get into reality of humbling yourself to learn what works. That all your friends have had marital break-up doesn’t make you the next candidate to join their alumni. Resolve to make yours work.

Always remember that at the root of every marriage that is working is a resolution from both parties to be selfless and make things work against all odds. Quit looking around, focus on getting the best out of your spouse and see your marriage move from storming to norming enroute winning. Most of the teams winning today were teams that lost some time back but failed to give up so get up and win.

To be continued