Build a ‘DREAM TEAM ‘marriage

How often do you see us celebrate wining marriages on the pages of our magazines? We talk more about the marriages heading for divorce and create so much fear in the minds of the younger generation as if it is almost impossible to get it right in this generation.

Before I got married, I remember going to interview a couple that had done 62years in marriage and another, 48years, yet still fond of each other. I thank God I went for that marital internship because what I learnt, ultimately transformed me and I am about to share the same secrets with you at the moment.

The final type of marital formation I see few people play, is the Dream team formation which is a situation where the two parties are together for a singular purpose and they work at it without shifting blames on each other. They have been through the different stages of team formation and the purpose of being together is stronger than their challenges.

They have learnt the principle of advanced forgiveness which is a heart that is willing to forgive before the offence is committed and have properly understood the meaning of cleaving together in sickness and in health. I discovered something interesting about wining marriages which I will share in details with time.

In team formation everyone talks about the building states; forming, storming, norming and wining, yet I have seen the 4 stages play out in every winning marriage. There is no point giving up when you are in your storming phase. You have all it takes to turn a bad marriage around or even get the best out of your relationship and that is why you can’t afford to miss the couples uncensored session.

Rethinking Narcissistic tendency – Praise Fowowe

My name is Praise Fowowe I am family life innovator & strategist and I run a research lab in Dallas Texas where we simulate family life thoughts, troubleshoot, and innovate solutions that assists humanity enjoy their lives.

The ethos of our research is to study what has become acceptable as a label and see if there could be something people may have missed out from.

Lately the word narcissist has become popular and in use across and it has become a label for a group of people who seem to make people’s life miserable in marriage and too many men have become labelled by that syndrome even when they have not gone through a psychological evaluation.

It has been defined as a disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissistic personality disorder is found more commonly in men. The cause is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Wikipedia

Last week we started studying a few of these designated narcissists and simulate numbers and we found a few strange attributes that many could have missed. This is not to hold brief for anyone; it is simply for us to rethink a few concepts and see if we may have missed out on some vital information;

By now you know the negative descriptions but let me focus a bit on the positives that may have been missed out. A typical narcissist designate;

• Is highly successful in business circles
• Has a wide network of associates and business personalities who relate so well with him
• Has closed a lot of deals that involves people and they have all shared profit successfully
• Has a high work rate and able to deliver on projects
• Could get very upset when goals are not met and sometimes that could become uncontrollable
• Achievements and projects driven and desires to be applauded for the project
• Has zero tolerance for folks who can’t serve his cause but in love with people who can assist him deliver on his bottom line.
• Gets worshipped by people in his circles because of his capacity to deliver on difficult tasks

Now a keen look at the following shows a highflyer and high achiever in the business arena but unknown to him these same attributes directed into an area that requires a large dose of emotions becomes problematic.

We have consistently maintained that marriage is not for everyone, and truth is some people are highly successful in their sector of strengths and become a complete failure in their sector of weakness simply because they have failed to run a personal analysis to better understand their blind spot. Their high achievement rate sometimes blinds them to these areas but a keen study into their upbringing also reveals a childhood pain that the quest for success has successfully masked which means they have over the course of their lives interacted more with logic than emotions.

What this could portend is a typical guy in this mode is rigged or scripted to self - sabotage or implode in marriage. This brings me to important questions.

1. What if this guy can just be restricted to the work zone and excused from marriage?
2. What if his desired women start to spot his tendency and insist on the right intervention before marriage is contracted
3. What if some other options is created for him that makes it impossible for him to hurt those he loves?
4. What if he can master how to switch from project mode to romantic mode(he’d need to be taught this)
5. What if he is just a damaged child who has been starved of love longing for a human reconstruction programming

The big challenge is he sees nothing wrong with himself because having achieved so much success it becomes tough to reach him not because he is arrogant but because he has been starved of love so much that every time, he senses love he shuts down because he is not sure for how long love is willing to put up with him?

A typical intimidating hummer or what is called choleric can sometimes be misunderstood as a narcissist.

Is anyone truly narcissist or is it just a label to describe a lion we have not been able to tame?

That the cause is unknown gives us an opportunity to look at it through the prism of our multiple lens, and see if it is a different group that acts differently and whose best use could be in projects and not marital relationships until they find a partner who share their traits?

What do you think?

Praise Fowowe