Are you in a Religious Makeover Marriage?

Sis Janet and Bro Rasaq met at a spiritual conference and he felt ‘led’ to propose to her based on ‘what the spirit told him’. There was no history of friendship or a quest to seek to understand each other.

Now they have been married for 4years and constantly fight over trivial issues but they can’t afford to let outsiders know so they act so happy outside while there is serious fighting inside.

Are you in a marriage where the flame of romance has gone cold or maybe there was none in the first place, but you have been staying together because of what people might say especially your church/mosque brethren.  Is your relationship a show such that you have to fake it outside for people to think you guys are happy while you are seriously suffering within?

Are you going through any of the following:

🍓You really want to stay together but lack all it takes.

🍓There is a display of perfection outside but there is brokenness inside.

🍓You live as housemates but are emotionally apart.

🍓Are you married to the children while your spouse is lonely and married to religious  activities.

🍓You no longer enjoy each other’s company but have to stay because of your anchor – people & religion.

🍓Your communication is dominated by what pastor/Imam says that you guys don’t really talk about yourselves.

🍓Your home is almost on a quiet time mode and 'dry' because you guys can’t play together.

🍓You can’t freely express your mind because you are not sure of your spouse’s religious response.

Religious makeover is characterized by assumptions because both parties assume everything would work because they belong to the same faith. However, I tell couples often that even when you are so sure God spoke to you about whom to marry, you still need to work and cultivate effective relational skills to make things work.

Spiritual activities can never replace the need for emotional intelligence and superior relationship skills because once you don’t have it, your relationship suffers. Give unto religion what belongs to religion and unto relationships what belongs to relationships.

To be continued